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Comment by Birgitta Friberg on December 16, 2010 at 2:02pm

This is part of what we did:

We started with a pairs exercise called The triple (Ben Furman). This exercise usually makes people happy and so also this time.  After that the group had lots of interesting reflections about give and take positive feedback (compliments and praise). Talking about praise we also mentioned affirmations as a possibility to give praise and hope to yourself. Everybody got the opportunity to write themselves an affirmation. We also talked about give and take negative feedback (criticism) and here we used some of what C Wisser wrote about wise feedback combined with what B Furman talk about in his feedback-hands. A feedback in three strides: 1. initially tell the other person that the task is not very easy 2. tell the person what could be helpful in terms of what I would like to see the person do instead  3. finish the feedback with what I already have seen signs of, what the person do very well. We finished this very short workshop with an exercise called “the snake” were everybody got the opportunity to give praise and compliments to everybody else in the group. The workshop was very highly valued by the participants. I hope my English is readable and that this short note makes sense in some way.

Dear Katlin, I have tried to find the Feedback-hands in english but without result. I am sorry that my english is not good enough to do the translation. 

Comment by Katalin Hankovszky on October 17, 2010 at 10:04am

Dear Birgitta, I'm impressed by Pauls' simple answer. :)
Maybe for a workshop on the topic you want to collect some more.
I think how to train feedback is also a question of the context in which you work. When I write here about feedback I mean it in context of learning and development.
Since your question is around, I came across a study Fredrike Bannink quotes in her book (Handbook of SF Conflict Management, p127). This showed, how people are ready to use recieved feedback as part of their construct and understanding of reality - independently, how reasonable the feedback might have been.
I suggest to see learning as selforganized activity (instead of steering through others), very consequently. So any activity of others during learning should support the capacity of selforganized fulfilling of the target activity and of learning. Feedback, if we give, might increase the observational capacity and choices of behaviaur of the learner - in order they can shape their activity adequatly.
Then maybe the best thing we can do is to ask the learner/performer him/herself for a feedback to the own activity. E.g. Michael Hjerth microtool 'evaluation' gives an excellent structure for it.
Any further feedback from others seems to me useful if people consider the goal of the learner - this might be why some colleauges use the word 'feed-forward': commenting on the observed activity towards a desired direction. So which signs of steps towards the goal could others see?
And I observe the joy and security when people can construct their reality in interaction with the reality of others: it seems to be useful to let the learner/performer know, what we other liked+were impressed by about the observed activity.
I know I have some assumptions in what I'm writing (feedback happens -immediately- after a concrete observable reality, feedback is meant for learning...)
So, dear Birgitta, this might be within 'any thoughts or ideas about feedback' - and helpful somehow? I don't know what the feedbackhands of Ben Furmans are and how you work with them, and if you would do something else this time, how this should be different --- ? Wish you fun with your workshop and I'm curious to hear more about your issue.

Comment by Paul Z Jackson on October 14, 2010 at 3:56pm

Hi Birgitta, One way of keeping feedback solution-focused in general is to ask 1 What went well? (or was liked, as appropriate), then 2 What could make it a bit better next time?

Comment by Birgitta Friberg on October 14, 2010 at 2:44pm

We are asked to give a workshop about feedback. I often use Ben Furman´s feedbackhands when working with the subject and I find them very useful. Perhaps I sholud do something else this time....Does anybody have any thoughts or ideas about feedback?

Comment by Katalin Hankovszky on May 27, 2010 at 5:18pm

New book: Doing Something Different- Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Practices
When you follow the link (too the blog page of Coert) you will see, there is a part on training of SF. Maybe interesting for us?

Comment by Fredrike Bannink on May 11, 2010 at 9:20pm

Hi everybody in the SOL Trainers Network, nice to meet you all here!
Fredrike

Comment by Stephanie von Bidder on September 21, 2009 at 7:17pm

Hi everybody,
this discussion reminds me of an answer Steve de Shazer was said to have given when he was asked what to do best if a hypothesis is popping up in a coach. He said take an aspirin and sit in a corner till it works..... Don't we all often seem to know very quickly... Steves' answer helps me to sit back and wait and to use my body and my attitude to indicate: I am here and curious what next, you as a client tell me and have to say.
greets Stephanie

Comment by Birgitta Friberg on September 21, 2009 at 6:30pm

Thanks to Jenny, Michael, Carol and Elta, you are absolutely wonderful! I would like to try all three exercises and I will! This is really amazing! I have not figured out yet all the things I can use this network for, but I have learned some time ago that uncertainty is good for you so for now I will just dwell in my happiness!

Comment by Jenny Clarke on September 21, 2009 at 6:00pm

Oops - yes Nancy Kline (not Klein). My attempts to learn German paying off....?

Comment by Michael Hjerth on September 21, 2009 at 4:29pm

Ah...Posture. This is an interesting choice of words. Not knowing posture. It involves the body. So much of talk, thought, emotion, is embodied. We weigh alternatives. Open posibilities, take steps, get stuck, feel down or up. I'm increasingly try to include the bodily part of thought and language. For example, many questions in sf can be seen as postures, movement, and forces. Questions feellike something.

At the risk of being seen as having lost my mind. I'll tell you how I currently think. Inspired by qigong techniques, I work with several postures, movement and sense of force. For example, we can embody and experience the feeling of "a step". The step on a scale question/posture/movement has several parts. (1) Being so steady that you can lift one leg. Sink your weight. (2) "Pour" the weight onto one leg and foot. Without lifting the other foot. (3) Lift the the empty foot, and stretch it out one step ahead without resting on it, keeping the weight on the other foot. Not moving ahead. The empty front foot is a "possible step", or the front foot feels "steppable". That is the feeling of "suppose you've went from 4 to 5, how would you know?". (4) Then you can move your weight from the back foot to the front, without lifting the back foot, leaving it "empty". The gives weight to the possibility. (5) Then with the weight on the front foot. Move the back foot parallel to the front and (6) distrubute weight to both feet. You are there. A new reality. That is the feeling of moving up one step.

When you get the feeling of a question, how the "wondering" feels like. The actual questions follow effortlessly.

Be well
Michael

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